There's a new immigration shill on the block, and she wants us all to know her name. Bernard Salt watch out!
The name is Liz Allen, and she's hungry. Hungry for fame, fortune and population growth. Hungry for bacon double cheese burgers, Ben and Jerry's, and exotic men with accommodatingly flexible ideals of beauty.
You may remember Liz's serving platter-sized face from the 4 Corners program last week, as well the way her continually gesturing hands competed with it in fatness.
Likewise, Liz's fatuosity knows no bounds. She was dropping tropes of growthist ideology left and right, with all the sloppiness of an overladen sandwich.
It was some prime baloney.
We tend to have a bit of a doomsday approach and we think of the worst case scenario particularly in light of our current constraints. But if we step back and consider, we will change. We will innovate, and be smart about how we adapt and change.
So basically, we don't like change changing all our stuff and things, but if we just roll with it we'll change with the change that's changing, and all the stuff and things'll be good, yeah?
It might be an uncomfortable conversation but it's necessary. Why is it necessary? It's necessary because in order for Australia to be the country we want it to be, and that it can be, we need almost like a social licence to talk about where we're headed, where we can be.
The catch is that to get this license, you have to do a test where you spend ten years of your useless life at a university learning to parrot garbage like this.
Besides being a self-described "highly skilled demographer," Liz is also a hard-headed economist. Listen to her go!
Migrants are filling a need. The jobs that Australians don't want or are not skilled for. And more importantly, immigrants actually drive up demand.
Exponential demand for houses, schools, roads... But let's read between the lines. Who but a dirt-poor immigrant from Bangladesh or somewhere will want the job of soaping out Liz's mangy crevices in her old age (if somehow she isn't dead of a heart attack by 40)? Personally, I wouldn't do it for the price of a new underground freeway in Melbourne.
Oh, and the Renaissance behemoth also dabbles in psychology:
Much of our population conversation is inherently about fear at the moment, a fear that challenges the idea of who we are, a fear that we will have to change who we are to fit in with what is coming. We need to have a managed conversation of what is needed and what we need to do to support the population of the future.
Get that? A managed conversation. A conversation not about whether we want a "Big Australia," or a brown Australia, but about how best to dilate our orifices to more comfortably take one. A conversation facilitated by "licensed" professionals like Liz Allen and Tim Phởsoupmasanne.
Unfortunately, Liz's mirror-rehearsed deep-and-meaningfuls didn't spill over into the QandA program afterwards. Maybe there just wasn't room on the panel?
Shame. Skin colour aside, she's the perfect symbol of where our country's headed.