In the wake of the latest terror attack weird thingy where people got killed for no intelligible reason in Germany, socially engaged citizens all over the world find themselves asking, "What are we going to do to stop this plague of attacks by inanimate objects on crowds of people?"

Attack of the killer vans!

Of course, even though demonically possessed motor vehicles do their share of harm, we all know that guns are the biggest problem of all. So much so that we need to commit a full-on gun genocide to completely extirpate the gun race from the face of the planet!

Yet here in Australia, even in our post-Port Arthur false paradise, the guns are continuing to multiply like lethal bacteria thanks to their perversely acquiescent human hosts...

Treason against Gunness is loyalty to Humanity!

AUSTRALIAN gun rights advocates are fuming over a report suggesting the number of firearms stolen in Australia has more than doubled in the past decade.

It comes as shock figures show the number of guns owned by just one Australian — in the small village of Moonbi, north of Tamworth — reach as high as 312 guns in New South Wales alone.

Shock! Horror! When will the slaughter end? It's a little-known fact that the murder rate in Moonbi is acshually far higher than those of Chicago and South Africa combined.

In fact, the farmers of northern New South Wales are so beleaguered by chronic violence that the South African Government is considering offering them asylum.

Gun Control Australia obtained data under Freedom of Information laws and published their findings in a report titled Firearms Theft in Australia 2007-2017.

The findings concluded that in the past 10 years the average number of firearms stolen annually in Australia has nearly doubled from 1700 thefts in 2007-2008 to nearly 3300 in 2016-2017. Over the 10 years, almost 27,000 firearms were stolen.

The figures show that most of the thefts have come from within private residential properties and most were never recovered.

“These figures show the great bulk of weapons (75 per cent) are being stolen from residential properties, often in the heart of our bigger cities,” Greens MP David Shoebridge told

See, what the gun nuts will tell you is that banning and restricting gun ownership means only criminals have unrestricted access to firearms. Fallaciously, these traitors to humanity will wheedle forth the sophistical argument that a society in which law-abiding citizens are disarmed and all the illicit guns gradually migrate into the hands of criminals is the logical end-result of the draconian gun control measures that are so sorely needed on the mean streets of Moonbi.

It's time to name and shame!

The same FOI laws helped The Greens launch the TooManyGuns.Org website with the How Many Guns Are In Your Suburb? locator providing NSW residents with startling information on gun ownership by postcode.

Suburbs with the highest gun ownership per individual include Moonbi (312), Little Bay (305) in southeastern Sydney and Mosman (285), in Sydney’s elite north shore.

“Stolen guns are fuelling the illegal gun market,” Gun Control Australia chair Samantha Lee told

“There’s a lot of reasons why the public should be concerned,” she said, citing an increase in accidental injury or death.

The facts are in, people. The presence of guns in a society is directly correlated with the murder rate. We all know that, thanks to the NRA, the USA is the most violent society on earth. In Mexico, on the other hand, where gun laws are exceedingly tight, they enjoy an orderly and violence-free existence that is a beacon of hope to the millions of liberal Americans fleeing south of the border for a better life:

Likewise in Britain, apart from some admittedly serious problems involving motor vehicles thought to have been radicalised by the classic Steven King novel

everything's just fine, thanks again to strict gun control measures:

Clearly, it's time for us in Australia to stop being so damn complacent, just because John Howard's courageous and far-sighted gun buyback scheme of 1996 had such a massive, undeniable impact on violent crime:

Thank goodness we can rely on the radical, anti-establishment Greens to carry on the proud traditions of gun grabbery established by the freedom-loving conservatives of yesteryear!

Makes you proud to be ashamed to be Australian (in a strictly non-nationalistic way, of course).